Monday, February 28, 2011

Aardvark Beverages

Aardvark is a funny word isn't it. The two A's at the beginning of the word lead to a peculiar look reminiscent of pirate speak. The double letter at the beginning of the word also launch it to the front of the dictionary, prestigiously held by other such double A letter words such as "Aah" "Aaronic" and "Aardwolf."

The aardvark itself is a peculiar animal. Probably even more peculiar than the name itself. Also commonly known as the anteater, the aardvark is a ground dwelling, nocturnal creature, native to the southern 2/3rds of Africa. Aardvarks bodies are suited to hunting out and devouring their prime course in the sub-Saharan wasteland, termites.They use their long, single claws on each leg to dig up mounds, and their long slender nose and tongue to yank termites out of the Earth, just as their settling down to do their little termite yoga. Toga if you will.

Probably one of the most interesting facts about the Aardvark is that it's dental formula is 0.0.2-3.3 over 0.0.2.3...

What???

Aardvark is also the name of a store in the southern part of Orlando. Aardvark Beverages, is located at 2610 Ferncreek Avenue, and offers all the goods you'd need to host a bachelor party. Kegerators, jockey boxes, lots of different kegs, individual bottles, six packs, and porno mags. Yeah I don't quite get that either. First thing you see when you enter this lovely establishment is a big ol' rack of porno mags. Odd. They also have a lot of different keg parts, taps, pumps, handles, etc. Most importantly for my purposes however it's where I get my CO2. If you're looking for a CO2 exchange like you do your tanks for the gas grill, look elsewhere. If you have your own tank that you just want filled, they'll take it and fill it no questions asked. My 10 lbs tank will get filled for about 18 bucks. Considering the number of kegs that services (20-30 kegs on a 10 lbs tank) that's a great deal. Good place to fill CO2, not a good place to take your kids for their big-brother reading material.

If you're looking to draw a link between the store and the mammal, I got nothing. Unless all aardvarks are mid-20s bachelors. I leave you with these fun facts...

Aardvark claws are as strong as a pick axe.

Aardvark tongues can be 12" long.

Aardvarks can eat over 50k termites in one sitting.

Aardvarks are also called "Ant Bears."

Aardvarks do not like porn.

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2 comments:

  1. Yo guys.
    You and Nick often post about kegging/bottling and so on (you seem to do more kegging and Nick has had his trials and tribulations with bottling). What is your impression of cans? It seems to me that they'd be the best situation: keep out all light and the seal is perfect. Micro-type breweries, as far as I can tell, are on this bandwagon:

    Check out page 3 or 4 here: http://www.bronxalehouse.com/ordereze/Content/7/Summary.aspx

    What do you guys think? Am I way off base here?

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  2. Speaking for myself, I don't like cans. I try and avoid plastic as much as possible and it lines the cans. Also, handing somebody a can of beer (no matter how well crafted) still seems cheap or low quality.

    Cans are another disposable item (and expense) that can't be directly reused. I get all my bottles for free -- the only thing that gets thrown out is the cap.

    I'd also avoid them since I'm guessing you need special equipment to put beer in cans and I'm not certain that you can "can condition" it.

    Thanks for the comment though, I just don't think this process is for me.

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