Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Beereview: Stone Double Bastard

"Ye Shall Know The Bastard and The Bastard Shall Set You Free."

First I want to apologize. I was feeling under the weather Sunday, which is when I usually blog to my heart's content. I even had this beer that I was very excited to review. But I decided to end the night with a shot of Nyquil at 7 o' clock. I was out like a 60 watt incadescent, planet-killing, pepper spraying, light bulb. Thing with Nyquil is that it always leaves me incredibly groggy in the morning. Today was no different, except the grog never ended. Hopefully there's no brain damage.

To the point, I apologize. I know many of you count on coming to work and starting your Monday's off on the right side of the bed by opening up A Tale Of Two Brewers at 9 AM eastern, and read what exciting adventures I've been on. I feel responsible for all the heartache and lost productivity that may have occured.

Yeah right.

So I'm pretty stoked at a recent development. Our Publix really isn't that great. I could go on and on really. But I wont. The deli line is the worst however. It's so painfully slow that I can't help but imagine pushing the woman's face through the plate glass display when she's order 1/4 lbs of everything in the @%(*in freezer. I digress...

Well we were in the market for a new market. So I went to our new Publix just on the other side of the highway. To my delight, in it's shining glory, was a Knightly Spirits Liquor store. Oh yes. Finally at my front door do I have a stock of high quality craft beers. With a full selection of Stone's finest I might add. The gentleman there also assured me that if there was anything I was looking for that he could have it shipped, free, from their main store across town. Which has of 1,600 different beers. Oorah!

Which is where the Stone: Double Bastard comes in. Keep in mind, I can't handle Arrogant Bastard. I've said before, and I say again, the label rings true in saying that this beer is too aggressive for me.

Enter the SWMBO (she who must be obeyed), the SO (significant other), mission control, and any other words or phrases you might use (appropriate and not) to refer to your wife, Nikki.

As I foray deeper and deeper into beer brewing and zymology (the study of zymurgy, fermentation), I've discovered Nikki to be a hop head. Starting tame with beers like Red Hook IPA, she fell in love. Slowly we climbed the ladder. Before I knew it we had already bypassed greats like Terrapin's Hopsecutioner, Stone IPA, and Lagunitas IPA. Finally we were at a bar and I decided to test her. I saw on tap Stone's Arrogant Bastard and ordered her a pint. She took a sip and.... didn't even flinch. She proceeded to devour the pint like it was a lump of tofu at a vegetarian pie eating contest. Challenge accepted.

So today I bring you Stone's Double Bastard. This is I calling Nikki out. It's time to pop the cap. Double Bastard weighs in at a hefty 10.5% ABV. While I wait for the foam to die, I'll make a note that the head is thick, stout, and resiliant. Aroma is surprisingly faint of hops.

Needless to say she loved it, but it made her pause for at least a second to give a wide-eyed look of surprise and an audible "whoa." The hop bitterness isn't much stronger, if at all, than Arrogant Bastard's. I must note that while I write this she's poking and mocking me, and asking if she needs to finish it for me. No. Of course I can finish it woman. Go watch the X Factor woman. Really, Double Bastard isn't an intense IPA, but more so Stone's version of an Arrogant Bastard Barleywine. The body is thick, full, and chewy. The lacing grips to the glass long after the beer recedes. The hop strength is balanced with that alcohol punch to the larynx. Definitely a sipper (for me). It may be true that Nikki will be finished by the time I walk out into the living room...

Check out what I say about Double Bastard at my Pintley site here. If you'd like to follow Nikki on twitter she's at @NikkiDJ27. And please, if you think there's a Hop-Crazy beer that can take her down, please recommend it below. I need a suggestion.


  1. Lucky bastard, so close to so many beers. Last time I had it that good, I was living in DC near the world beer bar (from all over the damn world! every kind thinkable!). Man i miss those days!

  2. Colorado is a great place for beers as well.