Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Oh my head... Math works.

This is what happens when I go downtown. Stuff doesn't happen. Wake up late, post late, Carpe IPA sits untouched. But you know what?

It's always worth it.

And here's why I'm not a beer snob, and more a beer geek. I had a bunch to drink last night, sure. And you want to know something? I spent barely anything. Why? Cause I was drinkin' good ol' PBR at $2 a bottle. Funny thing about PBR. It's not half bad. I mean, it's called Pabst Blue Ribbon because it won 1st place at the World's Columbian Exposition in Chicago in 1893. That's some serious staying power. 119 years. That's a long time, especially in these days when dishwashers are as disposable as tampons.

Don't get me completely wrong. I started out the night at Mellow Mushroom. If you don't know what that is, than that's just too bad for you. It's only the best gourmet pizza joint ever. Of all time. On top of that they have a large selection of craft beers and 4 continuously rotating taps so they always have something new. While I was chowing down on pizza I had a Lagunitas IPA, a classic, and a Mojo Risin by Boulder Beer. It's the same way I drink scotch. First glass is the good stuff. After that it's the Clan MacGregor from the plastic bottle. After the first one or two, you're not really tasting much anyway.

It's just economical really.

But what is economical? You know what economical is. Economical is homebrewing. Have you guys taken the time to do the math? Break it down. Lets call a case of beer 24 bottles(Bcase=24). Lets also call a typical case of beer a case of.... Budweiser, 12 oz bottles (oz=12). I'll drink that. It's stereotypical American. We'll fix that price at $18 (P=18).

So number of bottles times size of bottles...
oz * Bcase = Ozc (ounces per case)
12*24=288 oz/case

Take P (price) and divide that by the Ozc...
P/Ozc=PPO (price per ounce)
18/288=.07 dollars

So for 84 cents, you get a 12 oz bottle of Budweiser. That sounds pretty good, actually. Quite cheap. Lets apply the same math to homebrewing. I'm going to put a cheap brewing session at $30. Standard homebrewers will put forth 2 cases of beer for every homebrew. So we'll put a case of homebrew at $15 (P=15). Lets apply that math again:

oz * Bcase = Ozc (ounces per case)
12*24=288 oz/case

15/Ozc=PPO (price per ounce)
15/288=.05 dollars

That's saving you 2 cents for every ounce of beer you brew. Considering you brew 576 ounces of beer every time you brew, that's some serious coin. That also means your expensive brew rig pays itself back after only... 40 batches of beer. Legally, if you're married, and living in Florida, you can brew 200 gallons a year. Therefore paying itself back in 1 year. 1 year! That's serious payback! Companies make investments in things that won't payback until after your kids are long and dead, or Trump's wig decays whichever comes first. 

So go, go ahead and buy yourself that fancy rig... You now have the math to support it. I now leave you with this... mind = blown.

Now I'm going to take some aspirin and go to bed.

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